Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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