why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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