Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
