I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
