i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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