come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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