don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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