Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
