Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We don't watch enough power rangers
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
