it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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