he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
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When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
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You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.