i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.