ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He passed out mid-signature
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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