R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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