I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize