all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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