Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
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I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
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This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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