I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
