it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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