i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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