okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
