no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize