i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
