Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
