i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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