i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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