Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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