If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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