i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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