Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
