Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
