feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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