i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
