tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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