This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
