I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
