My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
