So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
