what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
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I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They have beer where we have blood.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder