Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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