I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.