we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
