And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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