I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
