Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize