I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
