I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
