i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
