if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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