I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
