yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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