my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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