the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
