The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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