Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
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turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
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I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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