I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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