The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
His nipple licking is glorious
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