Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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